Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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