So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
