it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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