ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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