That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
