when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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