It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
