i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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