How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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