Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize