Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
