Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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