Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
