I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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