But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
