I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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