please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
