you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
