so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
