He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We need to rekindle our bromance
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize