Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
