I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
