i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
