You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
