if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
