Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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