You don't have asthma, your pregnant
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Randomize
