I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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