i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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