hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
As shirtless as possible
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
