i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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