summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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