We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
