We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
