Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
