it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize