I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Green mimosas i think yes
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
