It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
