I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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