It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize