I seem to have left my pride at pride
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
