need another drink. this is the easiest way
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
