every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize