I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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