yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
