i jhust puked up my retainher.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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