Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
