Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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