fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
