Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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