I never want to see another naked old woman again.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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