My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
