my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
