i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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