so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
