benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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