hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
