My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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