I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
