I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize